Cruise Control
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: "Ok." Sandra smiled pushing aside the doubts she was feeling as the sound of a tooting horn from outside signalled the beginning of their trip and she felt her excitement rise again.
1. Chapter 1

**Cruise Control 1/?**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:- **Sandra/Gerry

**Rating:- **M

**Achieve:- ** **http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/**

**Summary:-**

**Author's Note:- **In answer to the cruise challenge to write a fic including the following : A cruise, A cabin upgrade, Dinner at the captain's table, a surprise and sea sickness. Fluffy multi chapter fun! Enjoy and reviews would be lovely!

"Esther are you sure this place you've booked Scampi into when we're away is ok?" Brian asked looking into the box of things that his wife had sorted out for their pet to take on his own two week break. They were setting off on their first ever foreign holiday a cruise bought for them by his work colleagues who were all coming along as well. Their attendance as supposed to be a way to prevent Esther being driven completely mad but in truth the only way that Sandra, Gerry and Jack could persuade the couple to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary on the luxury cruise was to agree to go with them. Brian, who hadn't wanted to go at all, had informed them that if they were going to send him to a watery grave he was taking them with him and Esther had told them that if she had to spend 2 weeks on a ship, even a luxury one like the Sea Princess, with Brian she's be arrested for murder the second they hit UK soil again. So that was how they had ended up surrounded by suitcases with Brian unpacking the carefully packed box complaining about what she had packed for his beloved Scampi.

"Yes Brian it's fancier than most of the hotels we've stayed in over the last 40 years now stop unpacking the box I've got to go drop him off. You make sure all the cases are locked and the travel documents are all in the folder we're getting picked up in an hour." Esther sighed batting his hand away and putting all the stuff back in the box before taking Scampi's lead from him. "Have you said good bye to him?"

"You be a good boy mate and we'll bring you something night a jewelled collar from Monaco or some gorgeous bones from the Spanish bills at eh bull fights."

"Sandra and I have already told you all we're not going on the bull fight excursion I can't believe you want to go. Call yourself an animal lover?"

"It's a social and cultural thing Esther and the bull isn't harmed I've researched it." Brian replied ignoring Esther's eye roll as she, the box and the dog headed for the door.

"Just make sure you're ready when I get back it's very good of Emily to borrow the station football team's minibus to take us all the way to Southampton. We're already getting picked up last so everyone else will be in the minibus already and we are not keeping them all waiting so be ready." Esther called before slamming the door and leaving him alone standing surrounded by things she'd already locked and a folder that up until that moment he'd been banned from touching.

"it's only two weeks Mary, yes I know we always said cruises were for people who'd lost the will to live and couldn't wait to die but it's for Brian and Esther. I know he's a weird one but Esther deserves the break and she won't go unless we all go. I'll miss you too love but I'll see you when I come back, love you rest well." Jack said quietly getting up from the covered bench in front of his late wife's memorial and heading back toward the house locking the French doors an turning out the outside lights as he did.

He'd packed lighter than he was sure the other's would have and his one suitcase was sitting in the hall by the front door with a small sports bag on top containing his travel essentials including his passport and money. He still wasn't completely behind the whole trip but Sandra had told him he was going and she had refused to take no for an answer pointing out that with the rest of them gone the office would be closed for the two weeks so he'd spend the time staring at the four walls of his home anyway. She'd also informed him that the ship they'd picked had its own driving range on board and the set of golf clubs sitting by his case was the thing that had finally convinced him he might be able to get through the trip without dying of boredom.

Moving through the house he made sure everything was switched off and he'd left a note for the milkman he pulled his jacket on and sat by the living room window to watch for Sandra, Gerry and Emily to arrive and pick him up.

"Gerry what the hell are you doing now? Emily's just arrived and we promised her we'd be ready! Jack will get ratty if we're late getting him and Brian will panic meaning Esther will already be uptight before we even get going!" Sandra called standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Gerry to appear. She was so looking forward to the five of them going away together but she was starting to feel like she was the only one who was. Brian had left the office the day before muttering still about cruise ships and sinking and Jack in spite of his initial interest in the on board golf driving range no longer seemed to be at all enthusiastic. Now even Gerry, who had appeared to be all for it, was starting to act strangely and she couldn't help the fact it was raining on her parade.

"I'm coming now I was just making sure everything was off up here." Gerry called looking again at the contents of his soap bag before finally zipping it up and putting it into his case and closing that too. He was only too aware that the trip was about Brian and Esther's anniversary and he was completely behind celebrating that but the trip was longer than one night and he had a few ideas himself about how he could make the trip special for him and Sandra too. Now that he was sure he had everything with him to execute his plan he was ready for Emily to get there and them to get on the road to start their holiday.

"I'm starting to think we should have just bought them some of those corny ruby anniversary themed presents and forgot the whole idea of a cruise." Sandra sighed as he reached the bottom of the stairs and set his case beside hers pulling her into his arms as he did.

"Hey what happened to the woman who woke up this morning excited and happy about a fortnight away with her partner and her friends?"

"She realised she was the only one of the five of us who woke up this morning feeling that way!" Sandra sighed staring at him with eyes that screamed disappointment making his heart break.

"Ok listen and listen well ok?" He smiled kissing her gently as he did. "It's going to be great, tonight the whole getting to Southampton and getting on the ship at 11 is going to be a little stressful but we expected that. Once we're checked in and are in our cabins and that ship sails it's going to be perfect ok?"

"Ok.2 Sandra smiled pushing aside the doubts she was feeling as the sound of a tooting horn from outside signalled the beginning of their trip and she felt her excitement rise again.


	2. Chapter 2

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Cruise Control 2/?

"Come on we've still got an hour's drive ahead of us what's wrong with some travel songs to get the atmosphere going?" Brian grumbled as Esther groaned quietly resisting the urge to reach for one of Jack's golf clubs and accidently on purpose hit her husband on the head with it while she did. She didn't have any desire to kill him altogether and spoil everyone's trip but surely no one could blame her for knocking him out just long enough for them to get him onto the ship and into a cabin without them having to listen to another single verse of "99 bottles of beer on the wall" she was sure she'd actually be doing everyone a favour.

"Brain if you want to see Southampton at all tonight I suggest you shut up because right now if we stopped the minibus and left you on side of the road to hitch home no one would blame us." Gerry replied not even opening his eyes as he spoke. They'd all been in the bus for less than half an hour and already he was being driven mad. Jack was sitting on the seat beside him grumbling every few minutes about everything from the temperature in the bus to the traffic that the rest of them couldn't seem to see but he was convinced was making them have to drive too slowly. Brian was determined to make them all feel like they were 15 again and stuck on a school trip he didn't want to be on singing crap songs to make it all more bearable. Esther looked ready to kill him and them for dragging her on the trip in the first place and Sandra and Emily in the front of the bus seemed to be finding it far too easy to completely ignore the rest of them and carry on with their own conversation that he was sure was more interesting than what was happening in the back of the bus.

"Yeah Brian if we have to all be stuck in the bud for an hour and a half you need to shut up or I might have to gag you." Jack grumbled glaring at Brian as he went to open his mouth to argue with them and shut it again swiftly when Esther dug her elbow swiftly into his ribs.

"Boy come on stop arguing once we get this bit over and get on the bus the real holiday starts stop acting like a pack of teenagers!" Sandra shouted from the front of the bus turning and staring at them all for a second until she heard all three men mutter "yes Sandra" and smiled at Esther and Emily as she tried not to laugh. The concern she'd been feeling before they left the house and which Gerry had done such a good job of ending was completely gone and she was starting to actually feel a surge or excitement about the trip one she wasn't prepared to have quashed by their bickering.

"Mr Lane why don't you make me jealous by telling me all the stops you have on your trip?" Emily smiled winking at Sandra as she mouthed a silent thank you to her for giving Brian something to do that would occupy him without driving the others crazy.

"Well we start in Southampton tonight….."

"I think she could have worked that bit out for herself Brian since she's driving us there." Esther sighed resting her head back on the head rest on her seat and closing her eyes as Gerry laughed at her comment.

"Yeah, yeah of course she can, well then we go from Southampton to Gibraltar and the ship docks there over night and we're going to see the monkeys…"

"Make sure they don't mistake Dad as one of them and attack him for being an interloper." Emily interrupted the ripple of laughter through the bus making Sandra smile, at last it seemed like people were starting to relax and get into the same relaxed mood she was in.

"Hey leave your old man alone!" Gerry laughed "If they mistake anyone for a monkey it'll be Jacko he's got the same grumpy scowl you see on those old monkeys on postcards with all the young virile males like me running circles round them!"

"You? Virile? Yeah right." Jack jibed back shaking his head as Sandra scoffed.

"Now Jack don't demean Gerry's virility I can testify that it's just fine." She smiled the collection of groans and wrinkled noses her comment cause making her laugh again.

"God Sandra talk about TMI!" Emily groaned "Please Mr Lane save me where are you going from there?"

"Round the Spanish island, Majorca, Minorca then on to mainland Spain where were going on a trip to Barcelona it's the only night on the two weeks we spend off the ship we drive from the ship to the city one day see the sights stay over and then back to the ship for dinner then next night. That's when we're going to see the bull fights."

"No! We're not seeing any bull fights!" Sandra and Esther chorused

"I already reminded him of that Sandra." Esther said with a firm shake of her head, "I told him we had already put a ban on bull fights that poor bull did nothing to anyone and it gets chanced round a ring I mean he calls himself an animal lover!"

"For the last time it's nor cruel it's cultural and the bull isn't harmed they revere the bull no true bull fighter would wilfully hurt a bull not in this day and age it's a stage show and the bull is in on the act." Brian snapped holding up two sheets of printed A4 paper with internet information on it. "See I even printed the details for you to see!"

"I call Bull of the shit variety on that!" Sandra replied watching as Brian's eyes widened and Jack and Gerry burst into fully riotous laughter. "You've already been told no bull fighting there's plenty of other cultural things you can do watching a poor bull run around being chased by a bloke in a costume two sizes too small for him that looks like a reject from Elton John's 80's wardrobe can carry on without us!"

"You're fighting a losing battle there I'd give up if I was you mate." Gerry smiled the way Brian tucked the sheets of paper into the file he had on his knee telling them all that they were unlikely to have heard the last of the end of his desire to see the traditional Spanish event.

"We'll see, anyway Emily then we have 4 days of cruising around the med without getting off the ship and then sail home I've been checking the weather and it's supposed to be perfect for the next two weeks its going to be great," Brian concluded closing the file again and smiling triumphantly at them all before starting to quietly hum "There were four in the bed" as everyone else groaned.


	3. Chapter 3

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Cruise Control 3/?

"Emily can't you take another route, we're going to be cutting it really fine if we're stuck in this traffic for much longer." Gerry grumbled looking out the window at what appeared to be a never ending line of traffic. They could see the harbour lights in Southampton but he knew they were still far enough away that if they didn't get moving they would be late for check in at the terminal and if that happened there was always a chance that they wouldn't get on the ship and that opened up too many terrible possibilities.

"There is no other way Dad in case you've forgotten Sandra and I just spent twenty minutes checking the satnav for alternative routes." Emily snapped sitting up a little in the seat to see if she could see over the line of traffic in front of her to establish what the hold up as. "Why don't you ring the terminal I'm sure we're not the only people stuck in this on their way maybe they know about it and if they do maybe they've made arrangements to delay the ship."

"Ports have time slots just like airports. It's a busy shipping lane do you know how many ships pass up and down there on an average day?" Brian said firmly seemingly unaware of the tension his comments were causing. "About 200 and not just cruise ships obviously but cargo ships, passenger ferries even large private…."

"Brian shut the hell up would you! We don't need a blow by blow account of shipping traffic we need a way to get through the bloody traffic!" Jack shouted as his friend looked around the minibus at the others and Esther shook her head sadly.

"Brian for god sake put your earphones in and listen to your Spanish language thing or something you're not helping." She said crossly looking at Sandra in the hope she could bring some order to proceedings.

"Right Jack you ring the terminal and see if they know what's going on with the traffic and if they're aware of it, Gerry you calm down or you're going to have had a heart attack before we even get there. Esther you have my permission to strangle his nibs if he opens his mouth again we'll all back you up that it was done under extreme provocation, Emily concentrate on watching he road I'll ring the local guys and see if there's any way to find out what's going on and if they have an eta on getting the road open and traffic moving again!" Sandra shouted determined to get the insanity that seemed to have overtaken the minibus under control. This was not the relaxing beginning to their trip she was hoping for and even though he hadn't exactly put it forward in a pleasant way Gerry was right they were close but just not close enough and if they ended up missing the ship it would me frantically trying to book flights to pick it up at the next port and losing the first couple of days of their holiday.

"We're moving!" Emily said excitedly as the cars in front of them started to flow more freely and both Sandra and Jack abandoned the phone calls they were starting to make.

"Oh man look at that!" Gerry gasped as they pass the cause of the hold up and two mangled cars sat by the side of the road with a police cordon still around them.

"Someone isn't getting where they were headed I hope everyone got out of it ok." Sandra replied sighing at they passed the accident and she tried to focus on the positive. Years in uniform had told her that just because the road was cleared and the cars pulled to the side didn't mean the accident was minor and there was just as much chance that someone hadn't made it out of the cars as there was that they had. Staring out the window at the terminal as they finally reached their destination she couldn't help but think again about how lucky they were to be heading off for a fortnight in the sun.

"Sandra I'll go get a couple of trolleys for your luggage you can wrangle the pensions." Emily smiled as she jumped out of the minibus and winked playfully at Sandra.

"Be careful with my golf clubs Gerry they're worth more than that heap of a car you drive!" Jacks was the first irate voice to break through the calm of the car park.

"Bollocks that car is a classic and you're not exactly Rory McElroy beside tell Brain he's the one getting his hands all over everything trying to get to his box of bloody maps!" Gerry jibed back nudging Brian as he stumbled and three of the cases that had been perched right at the door of the minibus landed noisily on the ground.

"Gerry watch what you're doing are you trying to kill me?" Brian shouted causing a couple of people from cars surrounding them to stop and stare as Sandra and Esther exchanged weary glances.

"Do you want to yell or will I?" Sandra asked smiling as the other woman shook her head.

"I'll take this one you dealt with them on the bus I swear it's worse than travelling with three kids!" She sighed stomping toward the men as she spoke. "Right! Brian pick those cases up and you better pray that you haven't damaged any of Sandra's clothes or you might be getting thrown overboard and…"

"But I didn't make them fall he did it's not my fault that they…"

"I don't care who's fault it is or who started it just do what you're told! Gerry go take the extra trolley off Emily and get the cases on, Jack if you're that worried about your golf clubs get them out of the way then help or I swear Sandra and I are going on this cruise on our won and Emily can drive you three back home!"

"Sorry." The guys chorused as they started to do what Esther had said and Emily gave them three trolley with which to do it before joining her and Sandra at the front of the bus.

"Are you two sure you're going to be ok with those three for a whole fortnight I'd hate to get a call from some Spanish prison asking me to come bail you both out because you killed them." She asked as the boys finally finished loading the trolleys, Jack with his stuff, Brian with his and Esther's and Gerry with his and Sandra's then joined them ready to go in and get checked in.

"I can't guarantee that we'll bring them all home with us." Sandra smiled once everyone had said good bye and she was the only one left by the minibus with Catlin. "But I can say that you won't be bailing me out, I've worked enough murder cases to know how to get away with it."


End file.
